Making life worth living.

I am sad today.
Honestly sad.
Not upset or Angry or Unfulfilled.
Just sad.
I'd venture to say that many people all over the world are sad today.
And I need to write this down.
I just do.
I spend so much time trying to be funny. Trying to be accomodating. Trying to be ironic. And today, that day that Paul Newman died, I feel that it is absolutely necessary that I be honest and forthright. It's the way he'd of done it.
I loved Paul Newman!
And I always will.
Everything about him.
I just can't find flaw in him.
I don't want to find a flaw.
He was my my template for how a man should operate, behave and carry himself. All class.
I know, he was imperfect.
His son died of an accidental overdose while trying to find a life of his own in the shadow of an American icon, but his perfection manifested even more resolutely in how he responded to that horrifying event.
He spent the majority of his latter years building his non-profit food business and creating a welcoming camp for terminally ill kids with his 'Hole in the wall' organization.
In his biggest mistake, though he never called it that, I think he found a way to make peace with his own regrets through his philanthropy.
As an actor, I was stunned by what Paul Newman did in 'Cool Hand Luke'.
Even at twelve years old I was enthralled with that performance. I watched him fight, shake the bush, shovel tar, eat eggs and when it all ends in that abandoned church I had a new idea of what a man was. What cool was.
From Hud to Road to Perdition. So damn good!
Watch The Verdict, The Color of Money, Butch & Sundance, The Hustler, The Sting, Nobody's Fool, Slap Shot. Watch every film he ever made and you'll get a moving, heartfelt and honest performance.
And there won't be another. There won't be another Paul Newman movie and there will NEVER be another Paul Newman.
And that's why I'm sad today.